Santiago the Second

Back at the good old Vittoria we try to sort out a Brazilian Airpass but to no avail. I drown my sorrows at the Chilean equivalent of a lap-dancing bar called a ‘café con piernas’ or ‘bar with legs’. Unlike in the UK the girls are actually middle aged ladies with decent pins who, instead of dancing round poles and fetching beers, serve coffee for 3x the price of Starbucks. So this is what the Chileans do for kicks – no wonder they’re so grumpy.

While Karen sorts out accommodation in Rio, I take the kids up the Cerro St Lucia. We climb up a steep rocky ‘staircase’ that is scarily slippery in places and dotted with treacherously spiky cacti. We are rewarded with a 360-degree panorama of the city and mountains behind, and even the smog seems to have lifted a bit. I cheekily set the camera to sunset mode at 1pm, as I may not get another chance of a clear shot.

That night Karen dons eye-mask and earplugs to protect against the TV and my snoring respectively. ‘I feel like Helen Keller’ she complains. It takes me a while to realize that she’s not talking about Profumo’s sexy lover, but rather the deaf and blind girl from Blue Peter. Karen may not be about to start sitting on chairs the wrong way round in the buff, but at least she’s sorted out flights and accommodation for our next stop in sunny Rio.