HUÉ

One of the wettest places on earth PAH – I bet it’s only a gentle drizzle to remind us of good old blighty. ER NO…On arrival it was belting it down all night and by the next morning the road outside was under 2 feet of water – literally. We waded across the 30 metres or so to the neighbouring restaurant carrying our babies in our arms like flood victims which I suppose we were. Le Carambole managed to serve up some decent scoff in spite of only remaining open by the skin of a meniscus on the top step (broken periodically by the waves from passing coaches that led to frantic sponging). The poor lady opposite was continually trying sweep out the water from Café 36 with a small sponge seemingly unaware that her whole premises was under at least a foot of water. Full marks for effort I suppose although, mean buggers that we are, Karen and I couldn’t help chuckling. Karen was less amused by one of the consequences of the rising water - namely rising rats. Although on the 6th floor of the fairly swanky Asia Hotel we were not immune. Pondering the inclement weather as I waited to 'drop the kids off at the pool' one evening, I couldn't help notice a small brown 'friend of Mole' scuttle hurriedly in from the bedroom to a little gap under the shower. Not wanting to worry by beloved I kept schtum and thought no more about it until awoken @ 3am by blood curdling screams interspersed with more scuttling noises. To be fair to Karen she was pretty brave as the timourous wee beastie had actually jumped off the bedhead onto her arm thinking it was a large piece off fruit (it had already had a go at the banana on the side nibbling off a chunk so just as well Karen took the hit rather than it landing between my plums). This was the final straw after 2 days of room service and feeling stranded like Piglet in a flood,and the next morning we resolved to explore this waterlogged hellhole. On further inspection the flood turned out to be nothing more than a very large puddle and 25 metres in the other direction was pristine tarmac. Also the rain had stopped so we booked a car for the day.

Rather a decent Mercedes minibus as it turned out complete with driver for £20. We decided to visit a couple of tombs of the Emperors of the Nguyen Dynasty (1802-1945 for those of you who are a bit sketchy on your Vietnamese history). We went to see Tu Duc's first who had the longest reign from 1848-1883. It was a pretty spot with frangipani trees,lotus pond and pine groves but I felt a bit short changed from my 55000 Dong when I found out he wasn't actually buried here at all. Tu Duc had the most wives,(104 not including concubines), but saucy devil that he was, his sauce must have lacked a bit of spice as he didn't manage a single child. This really p*ssed him off and rather like 'English Bob' in 'Unforgiven', he turned into the 'Duc of Death'. He left strict instructions to be buried with his treasures in a secret location by his 200 most faithful servants who were to be beheaded upon finishing the job. Pretty harsh I reckon but it worked as the location remains unknown to this day.

On a more cheerful note Khai Dinh (1916-1925) seems like a much more likeable chap although his tomb artist only narrowly escaped execution due to 'stylistic differences'. Probably because rather like the new Wembley it took 11 years to build and went way over budget. However, the decor was very ornate and colourful with detailed porcelain murals of the four seasons. Also the 100+ step climb to the top was rewarded by stunning views of verdant valleys, the meandering Perfume River and pine covered mountains.

Next stop Hoi An where Karen's battles with pests are far from over but shopping 'til you're dropping eases the pain.